i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
