is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
