I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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