Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
