Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
how drunk are you?
Several
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
