would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
