I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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