We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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