spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i now understand why vodka
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
