oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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