How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
