i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just puked most of my soul out..
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