i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
