kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
