And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
