This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
