i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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