you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
