Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
