Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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