Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
