It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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