Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
