she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
