I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
