why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
