Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
