I wanna bring you to show and tell
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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