Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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