just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
