why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
