Swine flu. Run for my life!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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