And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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