i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
and she was petting her beer can
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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