yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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