so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize