You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
