i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
