it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
