I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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