just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
