The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
