so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Two words: nipple clamps
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