so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
