i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
