im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
