I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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