I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
