You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
