My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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