Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
