can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
