he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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